Downsizing the Blended Home, 3: When Two Households Become One

When merging households, one plus one needs to equal . . . one. The path toward that fundamental fact, however, is not so easy. Since something's got to give--and you don't want it to be the relationship--Downsizing the Blended Home is here to help you meet the challenge of figuring out what to keep, what to let go of, and what to create together. With the same warm, narrative tone that made Downsizing the Family Home such a success--and using her own story of marriage and merger in midlife as a backdrop--Marni Jameson guides you through the turf wars and transitions, so you understand what matters and what doesn't, and can discover a style that suits you both. Along the way she interviews psychologists, designers, and couples who've made it through the process, passing along tips, tricks, and marriage-bolstering advice.

The wise advice includes:

• If you want to transform a space from me to we, the fastest, cheapest way is with paint.
• Look around you for the five or so nonnegotiable items that ground you, items that tether you so you're not adrift. Give those a place in your remodeled space and build on them.
• The old marital bed is a charged item, as are family photos of the former spouse or partner. A new bed is ideal, and new bedding is a must.
• Injecting a contemporary rug or piece of art, or a modern lamp or sculpture is a safe way to start moving toward modern in a room full of traditional furnishings.
• A blend in the master bedroom is especially important. If her bedroom is pink and purple, and his is burgundy and tan, a new gender-neutral color scheme is in order.
• Buying furniture together is a great way to invest in your look and your future. Start with something big in your combined style.